Counting My Blessings

At the Hmong New Year celebration with friends from CMA church

Christmas at Songsawang Church with Thai friends, Phii Yui, Nok, and Bo

Special songs being sung at the Christmas outreach at Songsawang Church


Girls from the Hmong Foundation leading games at an outreach Christmas event at a Hmong village

The Hmong Foundation's Christmas outreach to the community of Chiang Khong

30 December 2009

Counting My Blessings

Father God has been so good to me. His ways are so mysterious…I don’t understand why He works the way that He does, but I’m sure glad that He’s in control. I know without a doubt that without Him in my life, I would be a nervous wreck. Well…I still feel like a nervous wreck sometimes but at least I have the presence of an Almighty God at my side who can tip any situation in any direction He sees fit! I mean, that’s gotta count for something, right? ;)

Anyhow, the past few weeks have been some of the most stressful for me. I was finishing up on final research papers for my M.A. program, wrapping up English lessons at the church, joining events such as Christmas parties, Hmong New Celebrations, doing Christmas shopping, moving out on my own, mission board assignments, and then going to Chiang Khong and back. In fact, I just came back two days ago, had to rent a motorbike for the next month, learn the vocabulary to know how to rent it as well as how to find my way around town so I could get back home on my own. I ended up getting lost a few times in Chiang Mai but because God takes care of His children, I came back home safely! J I remember being on the road and thinking, What was my dad thinking when he let his little girl live in a foreign country by herself? Did he know that within five months time, she would get lost in a crazy city and not know enough of the language to find her way back home? It was also getting dark.

At that moment, I heard a voice that said, Yeah, but you’re here because of Me, aren’t you?

I answered, “…yeah…”

Then trust that I will get you home safely.

I paused, let out a deep breath, and thought to myself, Okay, I just need to trust…trust…wow, what an adventure! And with that, I smiled, looked up, and saw an officer approach me. I told him the area where I lived in which he lead the way for a few minutes and then gave me directions to get home (in Thai, of course). When I arrived in my room, I let out a BIG sigh of relief, got down on my knees, and praised God for His goodness! :)

The next day, I found that I had no money to get my next meal. I thought to myself, Wow…what am I going to do? Then again came that voice that whispered, trust. I also heard Him go on to say, Do you really think that I am going to let you go hungry? I was then reminded of a something I read in the book, Brushko, when the missionary in there said, “I’ve learned to expect my paycheck in the mail right when I need it.” So I thought, Okay, here goes to trust. I’ll just check my balance again online and if I have enough, I’ll withdraw what I need. So I checked it and voila! I had just enough to rent a motorbike (which is necessary where I live) along with a couple of meals to last me for a bit.

My whole experience here so far has been so strange…yet, because God continually shows me how His hand is at work, it has been the richest and by far the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever had. The other week, I had a cultural identity crisis (long story—if you want to know the details, just ask). I’m also finding that there are all kinds of insecurities in me popping up everywhere. It’s no wonder that mentors are recommended (and often times, deemed necessary according to some mission agencies). It’s also true what I’ve learned in my cross-cultural classes—that problems only seem to be magnified on the mission field. I’ve been evaluating many things that have occurred since my being here. I’ve learned that when God calls, you just have to go without delay and trust that He will equip you with everything you need to accomplish His will. Don’t get me wrong—I believe preparation is a very important factor in missions. However, with the unique scenario that I’ve been given, I’ve learned that you can’t let anything hold you back when God makes His calling clear.

May Father God be praised through the wonderful community that He has given me here. By His grace, I’m surrounded by the blessing of a rich Thai community, a rich Hmong community, and rich relationships with other missionaries as well who are going through the same struggles as I am. This past month, I started struggling with feelings of homesickness, especially during Christmas season. Yet, I cannot help but look around and be grateful for the new family I have right here in Thailand. Indeed, the Lord provides everything I need to accomplish His will. I keep in touch with my family back home quite often and am always grateful for their love and support. But I also know that this is a new season in my life where God is doing many things like I’ve never seen Him done before.

I am encouraged to be able to observe what my brothers and sisters in Christ are doing here for the Kingdom among their nonbelieving friends and neighbors. What joy it brings me to see them have enough love for their community to refrain from withholding a gift that is too precious to keep for themselves— the perfect gift of Jesus Christ from whom all true, pure love stems from and our sole source hope.

I am greatly strengthened by Romans 8:32 (HCSB):

“He did not even spare His own Son, but offered Him up for us all; how will He not also with Him grant us everything?”

What I like about this verse is that it doesn’t really pertain to financial gain, but it specifically refers to everything: spiritual, emotional, financial, and whatever other needs we have. It’s talking about God’s elect and the power given to us through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Even the subheading before this verse, at least in the Holman Christian version, reads, “The Believer’s Triumph.” Amen, right? Nothing can separate us from the love of God. He is in control of our every circumstance and He deserves our undivided adoration and worship.

Let us then embrace this new year, being comforted by the fact that God our Father will never leave our side (Deut. 31:6).