I am reminded of the time a few weeks ago when I went with pastor and missionary Doua Her to the Hmong village of Hwuay Haan to see a man about a problem he was having at a funeral. His mother-in-law had passed away and he wanted to kill her a cow according to Hmong tradition. However, because he was a believer, he did not want to offer the pieces of meat to the deceased ancestors of long ago. He simply wanted to do it in her honor (story to be continued).
While this man was still discussing the problem with Doua, Grandpa (as I like to call him) Nhia Tou Xiong (Nyiaj Tub Xyooj) and I were sitting outside his house just talking about ministry and a couple of other things. After having a few laughs about his experience in China with their bathrooms, he asked me why I came to Thailand. I then told him the whole story about my testimony—the suicide attempt, the vision, and the fellowship I had with God afterwards (full story on the tab above). And with that, he then presented me with a few more questions.
“How did you know it was God talking to you?” he asked.
“Well, I know now that it was God because all the words He gave me were straight from the Bible. But at first, I thought it was just me talking to myself,” I replied.
“I mean, it was a voice I heard from inside my heart," I continued. "So, I thought that maybe I was just thinking about it too much. But then I asked Him one day and said, 'God, how do I know that it’s really You talking to me? How do I know that You’re real?'”
And then I heard a voice that said, “Lift up your eyes and look at the grass of the field; the trees, the flowers, and all that is in this world…I am the One who created them all.”
And with that, I heard Grandpa sniffle. I tried to go on with my story but found myself crying, too, at the greatness of our God.
“Why…” Grandpa asked. “Why…such a girl like you…that He would even consider and spare your life from a dreadful fate…” A few minutes passed by as he went on. "And now, to set you aside for a special task; to dedicate your life, and take you from the comforts of your home in the States and back to the country of the origin of our people..."
We just sat there for about ten minutes in silence, marveling at the grace of God towards mankind. I was reminded of the Psalm 8:4, which says, "What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" Certainly we couldn't do anything in our own power to make ourselves worthy before a Holy and Just God.
Just then, Grandpa suddenly inquired, “Why did He choose to speak specifically to you? Why do you get the pleasure of hearing His voice?”
“Well…” I started. “I honestly don’t know. I mean, I obviously didn’t do anything that would be worthy of His attention. I mean, I was trying to kill myself.” I admit that this was indeed a question that many people have asked me before. Yet, I don’t know why I have the honor of being comforted and consoled by Him personally. I knew without a doubt that it was certainly something I couldn't boast about. Yet, I didn't understand why God would choose to speak to me in such a miraculous way. Some time later, while I was pondering about this particular situation, a verse was gently pressed onto my heart:
Psalm 34:18
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”
And there it is. This verse tells us that it is simply our heavenly Father's nature to be near to the broken-hearted and crushed in spirit. At eight years old, I didn’t have anyone who would be able to help me the way I needed them to. The Lord and I also both knew that I was surely going to plunge the knife into my stomach. So, why would He save me in my distress? What could I have possibly meant to Him that He would divinely intervene to stop me from committing such a heinous act? Just this: that He loved me so much, He gave up His own life in exchange for mine.
John 3:16
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son; that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life”
1 John 2:2 (ESV)
"He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world"
The end of full-time language study
I had been praying for quite some time to see where the Lord was leading me. I had originally planned to only study the language for the next 6 months or so (depending on how comfortable I would be in using it) when, to my surprise, God had answered my prayers and I had reached a level much higher than I had anticipated. Don’t get me wrong—I still have a loooooooooong way to go but I felt that perhaps, if it was the Lord’s will, for me to go ahead and get started in ministry work while being immersed in the language and learning it that way. There is only one problem—I don’t know really know royalty vocabulary (the language you use in speaking about God, Jesus, the Bible, kings, higher authority, etc.). Therefore, I can’t share much from God’s Word nor can I pray in this language because I had not previously had a biblical module in this language. I had tried to get started on it a bit in November last year but the schedule around Christmas is always busy and it has been difficult to keep it going. I have stopped language learning since and had only recently picked it back up last month (almost a year later) at Payap University. The pictures below are from a field trip that my class took in Chiang Mai:
I have suddenly become a professional Thai singer (นักร้อง) at the Museum Festival of Chiang Mai, 2010
Posing with my Thai language studies professor, Ajarn (teacher) Ray
God’s leading in ministry
Anyway, I was presented with a few options in the province of Chiang Rai but wasn’t sure which path to follow. After praying, fasting, and speaking with my prayer team, I felt the Lord leading me towards Christian Paisansart School (CPS) Dormitory where I now volunteer as a part of the staff. I took many things into consideration: the location, the experience I would receive, the responsibilities I would take on, the positives and negatives, the relationships I would have, and where I anticipate the Lord leading me next and how this could possibly affect it.
I knew without a doubt, however, that I would have to leave my life in Chiang Mai behind no matter what. If I wasn’t pursuing language study full-time, I knew that I shouldn't be there any longer. (Don’t get me wrong—I loved staying there. I had the freedom to go where I want whenever I wanted, my own place to pray, study, or do whatever, visit friends, try out restaurants, worship with and encourage various believers in the Lord, tutor English, visit friends, and visit friends. I miss my friends in Chiang Mai terribly…nothing is more enjoyable for me than spending time with the Lord, whether it may be doing it alone or with a friend where we can pray for and encourage one another). I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to towards focusing on ministry work for the time being rather than furthering my language learning. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us that there is "a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." We must always be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading, discerning our gifts and calling in accordance with Scripture, and putting our priorities in order while looking asking God for clarity in the big picture of our lives.
My "work station" as I put in concentrated effort on homework and ministry planning
A piping-hot cup of mocha! Yum-O! :)
Saying good-bye without saying good-bye
Sadly, I had left on a last minute notice. I did not know exactly when I would travel to Chiang Rai, but I knew it was going to be somewhere at the end of October close to when the kids would be coming back to school for their second term. By the time I had found out, I felt that the Lord was saying, “Go ahead! Go for it!” The only thing I regret is not having proper closure with friends…and I feel completely terrible about it. If you guys are reading this, I just want to say that I REALLY REALLY MISS YOU...ALL OF YOU...AND I WOULD LOVE TO COME BACK AND PROPERLY SAY GOOD-BYE. :***(
First of all, I had really begun enjoying Bible study and seeing other missionaries (mostly single adults) in the area. I had grown closer to the girls there these past few months and had not properly said good-bye to them. Not only that, but I missed out on my chance to worship with and visit my Hmong-Thai family in Sansai (Pastor Zaam Nug Yaj/Bunsoem), Doua Her, one of my mentors, and Hannah (Hmong name: Ncws), one of my best friends here. I had originally planned to go to Doi Inthanon with Hannah to celebrate her birthday, visit her family in her village, and go sight-seeing in what is considered the highest mountain point in all of Thailand where the weather is always cool and the flowers stay beautiful year-round (well, at least that’s what I’ve heard)…I just keep telling myself that there will be an opportunity soon for me to go back and visit. Plus, my heart was touched by a few kids at a hostel in Doi Saket called the House of Blessing (also on facebook) . I had wanted to go back and bless the children with snacks and games while teaching them a lesson or two from God’s Word. If it’s pleasing to the Lord, I would still like the opportunity to go back and bless them along with a number of others whom I had promised to see and visit before I left! :S
Scavenger hunt with the TLC Center at Kad Suan Kaew shopping plaza
Laughs at a pot luck day at Bible study from Chiang Mai Community Church (CMCC)
Just finished playing hop-scotch with some of the kids at the House of Blessing
1. You want to wai everyone you’re introduced to (a wai is a greeting where you place your hands together with your finger tips pointed in an upward position, sometimes touching your chin)
2. You automatically take off your shoes before entering a building
3. You think it’s mandatory to take at least two showers a day, one in the morning just after you wake up and one before you go to bed. Sometimes, on really hot days, 3 or 4 showers may be necessary.
4. You’re strongly offended by the smell of someone who hasn’t showered…or just stinks.
5. You wear long-sleeve jackets/sweaters on sunny days because you don’t want to get burned or your skin to get dark
6. You eat rice or noodles for every meal
7. You don’t own a dryer because you hang your clothes out in the sun
8. You think it’s ridiculous to pay more than $1.00 for a meal
9. You keep baby powder on-hand in case you start to sweat a lot
10. You keep toilet paper on hand at all times
11. You’re actually surprised to see Western-looking toilets, toilet paper, and liquid soap in a restroom
12. You have a difficult time expressing yourself because you have at least 2 languages (and two different thought processes) in your head
13. You wake up extra early to get housework done before the sun comes out and it gets scorching hot and unbearable (that is, if you don't have a maid who will do that for you)
14. You look four ways before crossing a one-way street
15. You aren’t surprised to see a family of five on a motorbike anymore
16. You think it’s a luxury to go to 7-11
17. You think it’s a luxury to go to McDonald’s, Burger King, Subway, or have anything that resembles Western food in a non-Thai way
18. You’re startled and the first words that come out of your mouth are a-rai-ni-ah (lit: what this)!
19. You are always consciously aware of what you’re doing with your feet in case you offend someone
20. You praise God that speed limits are almost non-existent, that you can run a red light, go the wrong direction in a parking lot, and drive in the opposite direction on a one-way street—and no one will say anything!
Pastor Somboon’s mother had recently passed away—it came as a sudden shock to everyone. Last I heard, she had a migraine headache, laid down to sleep, and that night, had a cerebral aneurysm. Somboon and his sisters, Mai and Oua, and their families, drove 5 hours and rushed down to Chiang Mai to see her as soon as possible. The next day around afternoon, she was officially pronounced dead. Everyone was devastated—she was only 52.
I received a call about the news that very day and decided to make a trip to their village to support them in their time of need. I knew that this would include having to stay in the village for a few days without the support of another foreigner—I would be the only one around. Village living conditions are vastly different from the comforts of the city I’m used to. Yet, the Lord gave me these verses to encourage me:
“…When you do good and suffer, if you endure, it brings favor with God. For you were called to this, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you should follow in His steps.”-1 Peter 2:20-21
Because it was in a village far from the main roads, I had no idea how I was going to get there. Yet, I put my trust in the Lord and He lead the way. That morning, I woke up thinking, “Okay, Lord! I’m ready to go on an adventure with You today! Lead me!” On days like these, it’s always difficult to go through it, yet it usually (if not always) comes out to be the most miraculous days ever! I figured out the public transportation system of Chiang Mai by speaking with the Thai staff at my apartment. Then, someone sent me on their motorbike to the highway nearby to climb onto a songtaew taxi to meet Mai’s daughter, Pla, and her friend, at their school where we would go together. A friendly passenger in the songtaew assisted me on where to get off (though I missed my stop and had to figure out where I was), and, while waiting for them, met random Hmong students at the post office and we went out for coffee together (yay, I made new friends^^). There, I met them, boarded on two more songtaews, and headed up the mountain in the sun and rain in yet another rickety songtaew for 2 hours (part of the time, it was crammed full of way too many people and their random packages—quite the experience! J). When we got to the last stop, a local marketplace, one of my friends recognized one of her many relatives from the village and we hopped in their truck on the way back. Yay! Success!
In this village, they had running water and electricity but no hot water and internet. Nevertheless, I had an amazing and blessed time in Pbongnok these past couple of days. While assisting in the cooking, the dish washing, the serving, and the bussing of tables, I was able to connect with the people there, one of which was a widow, an orphan, a concubine, and some others who just didn’t seem to be getting their share in life. By the Lord’s grace, some had already come to know the Christ personally as their Savior. As for the ones who hadn’t, it gave me great opportunity to testify about God’s love and faithfulness. I actually ended up leading a woman in prayer to receive Christ that night—a first for me! J Her name is Yua (Hmong = Nyuam). It was quite obvious that the Holy Spirit had already been tilling and working away at her heart. She has sat through many church services, according to what she told me, and listened to the teachings of the Bible with great interest as she found out how relevant it was to her life. I worry for her, however, because her husband is an influential man in the community who, as I have heard, is very controlling, drinks much alcohol, and takes a firm stand against believers. Please include Yua in your prayers. I plan to follow-up with her on this life-changing decision and am asking the Lord to keep her from retreating from the faith when trials come her way.
I can’t believe how difficult it is for the family who has just lost their loved ones. I consider Somboon and Mai to be good friends of mine, and so seeing what they had to go through this past week made me realize how tiring a traditional Hmong funeral can be (their mother was a believer but their father isn’t so you can guess what the elders decided on). Not only did they have to entertain guests every moment of every day until the burial, they had to make arrangements for cooking, cleaning, oversee the killing of pigs, cows, chickens, making sure everything was in order for the rituals, etc. Not only that, but they had to stay up as late as they could to “zov hmo” (literally translates as “guard night”) every single night. The family members barely got sleep—some nights, 3 hours. Other nights, 20 minutes. Can you imagine doing this for one week? I’m telling you, it’s crazy! My heart really goes out to them. Not only have they suffered a great loss in the family, but they have to oversee many of the responsibilities of this event. Like Mai said, “khwv siab khwv zog” (exhausted heart, exhausted strength).
It was inspiring to see the community coming together to help out their relatives. That’s what I love about this culture—family is there for each other. However, it’s quite sad when I’ve seen too many times how people build up walls in accordance to what they believe their religion teaches, no matter what country they’re in. God calls us to love one another—and that means being there for each other.
“…Keep your love for one another at full strength, since love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining. Based on the gift they have received, everyone should use it to serve others, as good manages of the varied grace of God” (1 Peter 4:8-10).
I wanted to kick myself for not knowing the ins-and-outs of what a traditional funeral consisted of. During high school, I remember doing research on these rituals, the beliefs about the spirits, etc. but it was quite another thing to see it in real life. I definitely need to look further into this so that I can know what’s important to our people and why they hold the beliefs they do.
Another aspect of this experience for me was simply getting the feel for what village life is really like. You would get up early in the morning, like 6:30, shower, make breakfast, clean, and if you don’t go to the garden and farm during the day, you stay at home where you can xaws paj ntaub (do needlework/sew clothing), watch movies, sleep, whatever (this would be very difficult for me—as a Westerner, I always want to busy myself with doing something I feel is useful—and I don’t enjoy sewing—sorry guys! I would make a terrible traditional wife! haha). During one of those days, sometime in the afternoon, I was really tired and wanted to catch up on my rest so I returned to Mai’s house for a short nap. I opened all the doors and windows to get a good breeze going before I dozed off on their plastic mat on the ground (Hmong = “lev”). Right then, one of their aunts nearby dropped off her baby at the doorstep and left to unload her groceries at her place. For a moment, I just kind of stared at the baby that was sitting inside the house in the middle of the doorway. What…? I thought to myself. What am I supposed to do with this baby? I just want to sleep…*sigh* I made myself get up and do the respectable thing—take out sitting stools, the fruit, and entertain the guests. Just then, more and more women stopped in with their kids—these women were around my age or younger. Others, local men, decided to drop in too (joy^^). It made me realize how difficult it must be to live in a village with so many potential prospects living just around the corner—and with the Hmong marriage policy of “take me to your house and I’m yours,” it really gave me the heebie jeebies.
One thing that did cheer me up though, was hearing a kid (one of Mai’s nephews) singing Christian songs at the top of his lungs everywhere he went. There was so much joy in him. It turned out that he had learned to sing and dance to these songs through one of the outreach ministries of a nearby university. He was in some respect mentally retarded, being that he didn’t speak clearly nor were his physical limbs in the regular position it should be in. Yet, it was such a delight to see and hear him every day. During one instance when he was in the middle of a song, his father angrily shouted at him and he immediately stopped in fear. My heart sank as I remembered going through the painful motions myself. Parents really need to know how to treat their kids…they need to know God who can teach them how to lead a life that is righteous, just, and filled with integrity in every way (Prov. 2:9).
Gradually, my eyes are being more open to the lives and needs of our people. Originally, I had planned to go to a youth conference that was held especially for the Hmong in Southeast Asia. However, God had lead me here instead. Many times it was difficult for me because I wasn’t sure how to comfort someone in the Hmong culture, nor did I know how to cook certain dishes, utilize their only available resources, and even communicate the way that Hmong-Thais do. Yet, the Lord lovingly provided me with this amazing opportunity to jump right in and learn fast. lol. I love how God works! :)
Please keep Pastor Somboon, Mai, and their family in your prayers. They are very dear people to me. Their mother was a very kind and generous woman who was taken by the Lord at such an unexpected time. Pray that they will be comforted by God who is “the source of all comfort” (2 Cor. 1:3) and that they will be strong and stand firm in the faith (1 Cor. 16:13-14). Thanks be to God that we have the assurance that He“will raise us from the dead by His power, just as He raised our Lord from the dead” (1 Cor. 6:14).
Wow! God is so amazing, amen?! I don't know how else to start out writing these blogs except to praise God because I keep experiencing His blessings nonstop. It has been absolutely amazing...that...yeah, I'm speechless! :)
Making a Difference through teaching English
Adjusting back to life here has been quite interesting. My first week, I came and stayed with Pastor Bunsoem (Xibfwb Zaam Nug Yaaj) and his family. It was so good to see everyone again, including the church members from Light of Sansai! One of my previous English students came up to me sometime during the week and said, "Teacher, will we start having classes again?" I was quite surprised because I know this kid--he was my neighbor, after all. He doesn't like to learn, has a short attention span, and apparently, from what I hear, does not do well in school. Yet, in my class, he...excelled. He always had a lot of energy, and at times, it was difficult for me to get him to calm down and finish his work. Yet, he retained a good amount of vocabulary and, from observation, I could see that he enjoyed learning in class (well, I do try to make it fun, you know ;) haha). Anyway, I was shocked that he had asked that since it has been over 6 months since our last class. So I asked him, "Do you want to have class again?" "Yes," he answered without hesitation. I thought, Oh man...I wish I could but I don't have the time right now. For some reason, I knew that the Lord wasn't calling me to come back and teach English here. The Lord had His hand on this boy's life and I could only praise God for choosing to work through me. However, after praying for wisdom to know how to prioritize and to go about using my time wisely, I knew what I needed to get done and couldn't go astray from it.
Apart from that, I met up with Lauren Becker, another missionary here who heads up the TLC English center in located behind Chiang Mai University (one of if not the most prestigious university in the area). Many students have been coming for English lessons but unfortunately, there is a shortage of teachers for the moment. So, thinking that if 3 hours of Thai lessons a day isn’t too much, I could commit a short time in teaching as well. It has been about three weeks now and I really like it A LOT (despite the fact that I’ve only committed 2 hours to teaching per week)! The staff and people are great, the students are coming on a regular basis, and I’m just so glad to be given this opportunity to connect with them in a tangible way in hopes that they will see God’s love through it all. TLC’s mission is very encouraging and I definitely consider it an honor to be working/volunteering with them part-time.
Also, I’ve connected with a weekly Bible study here with other missionaries/foreigners in the area. It has been great to be able to relate with these folks, fellowship, and learn God’s Word together. Last week, my birthday landed on their Filipino potluck night and it was amazing! A friend bought me a cake, and I bought one for her (but I was too shy to say it [surprise! It really was for you, Jen! lol]) so everyone sang happy birthday to us and we had a good time. I also played ultimate frisbee the other week and just felt like I learned such a strong spiritual lesson from that. I appreciated people with good sportsmanship so much—it can tell a lot about who we are, if we are going to step on others just to get to the top, about how we work in a team, and if we care more about winning than simply having fun. *Sigh* I definitely need to find time to work out more.
Noisy Neighbors
What’s more, life in my apartment has been interesting. I have very noisy neighbors next door. There seems to be a little boy that whines and cries all the time, every day. At first, I was annoyed and just prayed that he would shut up already (okay, so I didn’t use those words in my prayer—I actually said, ‘Lord, would you PLEASE help make him stop... ;)) but then the Holy Spirit convicted me and said, “Why don’t you offer a prayer for him instead?” So I sighed, shut my eyes tight, silently asked for wisdom in praying for this boy and said:
“God…please, just love this boy and comfort Him like you did me when I was younger. I don’t know why he’s crying, if he’s having family problems, if he’s just spoiled and didn’t get what he wants…or if it goes even deeper than that. Just reach out to them with Your love, O God, in the way that You know will open their eyes to who You are. I also ask for you to be with the parents, to give them wisdom in knowing how to deal with their kid, and to learn how to love and treat the child the way that You would want them to. May they learn from You, God, as You open their eyes to who You are. Amen.”
I don’t know why I was surprised, but every day when I hear the boy crying, I would pray this prayer…and he would stop right afterwards. Every time. I asked God that if there was a tangible way for me to show them His love—if I could buy the boy candy and tell the parents that I would hear him crying sometimes and hopes that this little gift would cheer him up. Yet, I hesitate because either his parents would get mad at him for disturbing the neighbors and give him a whipping for it or I might encourage his selfishness in being spoiled (if in fact that is what he is). Any thoughts? I need wisdom on this.
Unexpected Witness Opportunity
Also, I’ve been praying that I would be a light to the staff here at my apartment. I just want them to see God in me and perhaps gain an opportunity to share the Gospel to them in Thai (if I ever get to that level). One day, I was really tired and came back just to find that the staff had changed the curtain in my laundry room. I was offended at first, thinking, how dare they come into my room without my permission? This isn’t a serviced apartment, you know! And then I saw the post-it note with a Thai Bible verse on my door and thought, Oh wow, I had just witnessed to them without even knowing it (b/c there’s no way you can pass through to my laundry room without seeing the bright pink note with John 14:6 on it)(and also, I had just prayed the night before for fresh ideas in witnessing to them).
Sharing my testimony
I visited the church at the TLC Center last week and ended up going with the Senior Pastor (King) and his wife, Apple, for coffee after a baptism ceremony with a few of their members. In the car, they had asked to hear my testimony, so I testified about God’s faithfulness during my childhood. Apple must have been impressed because she asked me to share it with other staff members and students after an outing they were going to have. That day came and I, when I shared, it was SO difficult to hold back the tears because I always remember all the pain that I went through, but even more tears come when I realize God’s goodness through it all.
Not only that, but I also had plans to sleepover at Hannah’s place that night (one of my good Hmong Thai friends from Prasalee CMA church here in Chiang Mai). I had told her earlier that day that I would be telling my testimony and needed prayers. That night, she asked me to share it with her as well along with her other two friends who stayed in the same apartment (Zeah [Ntxias], Nah). I love testifying about His miracles and grace in the lives of His children.
Scary Stories
When staying at Hannah’s place that night, I was in Zeah and Nah’s room eating snacks and watching TV with them. I realized that they were watching a horror film (starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, actually) and saw a terrible depiction of a angry ghost out to get her (you know, one of those Asian girls with the messy hair kind of look). Anyway, it surprised me! I confessed to them that I do not watch scary movies and I have my reasons. So they asked…and, at first I told them that I didn’t want to tell it to anyone anymore since people just want to hear them for chilling kicks. Then, I thought I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me that I have a testimony of God’s faithfulness through all these experiences as well and that I should share them—not for chilling kicks, but for a deeper understanding about spiritual warfare. So before I told them, I prayed that God would guard our hearts and minds, and then I shared. Looking back, I wish I would have ended with more Bible verses on how God promises to be with us, watch over us, and protect us as His children in every situation. Yet, I see now that not many are mature in their faith enough to handle these stories nor are they all born-again Christians to be able to comprehend the depth and truth that is contained in them in supporting God’s Word. I definitely need more discernment in this area.
Visiting Missionaries
I was with missionary, Doua Her, yesterday. She and a couple of us including Pastor Chue Pua Yang, his wife, and mother from the U.S. went to visit two missionaries. The first one was Dorothy Yullich (sp?). She has been working as an independent missionary here in Thailand for 57 years as a nurse. At first, she wanted to work among the Hmong, but seeing as they were unreceptive to the gospel, she worked with the Thai (all the more reason to pray for the Hmong, right?). Anyway, we paid her a visit at the hospital, sang worship songs in Hmong, and Doua encouraged Dorothy with a few words from the Bible (in all 3 languages, mind you). Doua cried as she told her how much this woman had inspired her as she prayed for her and washed her feet, saying, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace” (Romans 10:15). There was not a dry eye in the room that day.
Afterwards, we visited missionary Don Rulingson (sp?) at his current home. He had previously worked a lot with the Hmong in the past. It was a joy to meet his daughter, Annabelle, who was completely fluent in Hmong (I can tell you, it’s waaay better than mine! J). We sang Hmong worship songs and shared the Lord’s supper with him. He was such a sweet, dear, elderly man who still retained some Hmong. I saw him singing the beginning of the Hmong version of “Holy, Holy, Holy.” It was very inspiring!
Afterwards, we had dinner together at Doua’s house, consisting of pla pow (grilled fish). OH my goodness…this is hands-down on my favorite dishes of all time here in Thailand (surprising b/c I’m not very fond of fish). The ruby fish (or whatever it’s called) is coated with salt and grilled over an open fire until its cooked and juicy. Then, you peel back the skin and eat its tender meat with a basil, garlic, chili sauce with a side of lettuce. It’s SO amazing!!! I missed this so much during my time in the States.
Thai Lessons
My Thai lessons at Payap University end this week. It has been such a good experience learning in a classroom setting and speaking Thai straight for 3 hours everyday (well, almost! The teacher has to use English every now and then to explain certain concepts). It has certainly been intensive but definitely a blessing. One thing I want to mention is God's faithfulness through all this. Before I started the class, I prayed that, in all 8 levels they have for one's fluency in Thai, I prayed that if only I would land in Thai 4, I would be happy. The day came when I met with one of the professors, was given a brief test on reading an article in Thai, was questioned about understanding its content, and then was placed in Thai 8--the highest level they offer (is that crazy or what??!!). My jaw dropped and I was like, "HOLY MOLEY!!" Not bad for only two months of previous language learning, eh? God is good indeed...*sigh* I'm still completely in awe because, for one thing, it was difficult for me to come up with the funds in the first place to learn Thai last year, and second, God divinely intervened and answered my prayers in language learning. It has been such a slow and painful process in obtaining a new language. However, whatever God calls us to, He always equips us in.
“For it is God who is working in you, enabling you both to will and to act for His good purpose.”
-Philippians 2:13
What’s next?
My next plans are to visit the Hmong Foundation and to pay a visit to John Kane and his family. It will be such an honor to meet him, a renowned missionary who has worked with our people for approximately 27 years here in Thailand. It will be great to discuss the situation about the Hmong here with him.
Anyway, I have already finished my newsletter about my activities during this past summer. I apologize for it being so late! I’m going to try to post it up here on the blog as soon as I can (it takes a while for all the pics to load). I’ve been so busy, doing homework for my Thai classes, homework for my master’s program, planning and teaching English lessons, planning for what's ahead, and finding time to connect with friends and build relationships.
As it turns out, I am still in need of monthly supporters. I’m not worried, as I know that the Lord will provide for His work. If the Lord puts it on your heart, please prayerfully consider making a financial gift, whether it may be one-time or monthly. I’m trusting in the Lord to lead the way in His will for me here! :) May God’s grace abound towards you!
I looked at many places but I wasn't able to get them all on here. *Sigh* It was so tiring...place after place seemed small, overpriced according to Thai standards, and had a problem with bugs! :( Of course, I wanted to lean towards the nicer Western-style places but always found that they were waaaay out of my budget. (Plus, being alone, I don't need a big, nice, place to myself. It will just make me sad knowing I don't have anyone to share it with :(). For a moment, I contemplated inviting Thai friends to stay with me, which would have been nice, but I wasn't exactly sure how long I would stay in Chiang Mai for (depending on how long I will need to learn Thai and where ministry will take me). I wanted to keep my schedule open and flexible--therefore, I couldn't really get a nice place even if I wanted to since many places require a one year lease or more. So...I ended up staying at the same place I did last year :) Location, location, location --> the 3 things you need to consider in getting a place of your own. I'm right by a department store, restaurants, gas stations, and near Payap University where I hope to be studying Thai soon.
As for the motorbike, well, it's a Honda Click. I have to admit--it's a little bit more on the expensive side but I'm hoping that it will be well worth it's price. If not, I'll exchange it :) (Pastor Bunsoem won't be happy if I do that!). It rides very smooth, easy, saves on gas (or so I've heard), and it's safer for me as a new driver.
*Sigh* Getting settled in a foreign country has been fun and difficult at the same time. I have to learn the vocabulary for everything and at times, it has been lonely. I'm just thankful that the Lord has provided many friends here that help me in so many different ways...truly, I'm in their debt. :) I admit, I truly wanted a nicer place but I'm content with where I am--it's a nice, small studio apartment that has just about everything I need and not too much shock me out of concentrating on more important things. The only problem I have are giant cockroaches every now and then (before, I was getting bitten in the face by mosquitoes and couldn't sleep at night).
"But if we have food and clothing [and shelter], we will be content with these" (1 Tim. 6:8).
Please pray that I will not set my hope on these worldly things (because God knows I need them) but to "do good, be rich in good works, be generous, willing to share, and to store up for myself a good foundation for the age to come so that I may take hold of life that is real" (1 Tim. 6:18-19, change in pronoun).
This was my experience going back to my Thai church here in Chiang Mai called, "Light of Sansai Church" (คริสตจักรส่องสว่าง). I only understood bits and pieces...welcome back to Thailand, Mydur! :) Most people don't think it's much of a struggle for a Hmong person such as myself to learn Thai. What they don't know is that I have to learn Thai just like every Westerner...the only thing that gives me an advantage is that the Hmong language contains 8 tones, of which 5 of those are already in the Thai language (praise God!).
So this is the routine--it's Sunday school with Pastor Bunsoem Sankhamphae (Xibfwb Zaam Nug Yaaj), then it's worship, special songs, offering, communion, prayer for children, sermon, then eating afterwards (my favorite part! [the teaching would be my favorite part if I understood more]). One of the things I miss the most about being in the States is the worship and teaching. At least I would understand just about 100% of that. Seeing that I'm lacking in this area, I would have to spend extra individual devotion time with God (which is always nice, but I have to intentionally make time for it or else it won't happen). *Sigh* The life of a missionary :) God is good.
One thing I've realized by being over here is that my spiritual walk with God can feel dry if I'm not intentionally (and consistently) putting forth effort into our relationship. Usually, I would find inspiration from a book, sermon, someone, or something and it would keep me going for a while--like getting energy from food to keep going everyday. Of course, our daily bread is the Word of God but I also find it quite helpful to see how it is explained and applied in various ways through the different and creative personalities of God's children--ordinary people who use their extraordinary God-given gifts of teaching to edify the Body of Christ. When I read about great people like Billy Graham or Elisabeth Elliott, I can see that they are constantly quoting someone or finding their inspiration from somewhere. Recent things that have sparked my energy are:
Great stuff! If you guys check it out, let me know what you think! ;)
May God be with you, encourage you, and use you right where you are!
"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened so you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the glorious riches of His inheritance among the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of His power to us who believe, according to the working of His vast strength." -Ephesians 1:18,19
This past Monday, the day after the 4th of July, some friends and I got together for old times' sake. We had all been involved with a not-yet-official organization called Unity--the gathering of youth from various denominations to praise and worship God together. In the past, we have hosted and coordinated a fellowship day, a 3-day camp, and an outreach effort at the Hmong New Year of 2008 in doing skits, praise and worship, and manning our own booth distributing free water.
Anyway, I haven't seen these guys in what seems like FOREVER. So, my sister, Goldshoua, and I dropped by Charlotte on Monday for a quick hangout. Well, I'll tell you one thing--it wasn't quick (lol) but it was definitely worth the 2-hour trip. I was so incredibly encouraged by these guys that it was sad to bid them farewell! :(
From left to right: Joseph Vang, Johnny Kue, Mydur Xiong (me), Ben Vang, Goldshoua Xiong (my sister), Josh Vang
We watched the movie, The Last Airbender, that night and it was just absolutely...uh, well, let's just say we had more fun tearing it apart afterwards! :) We laughed and laughed till our pizza-filled bellies hurt. The rest of the night consisted of exchanging prayer requests, spirit-filled conversations, and a few games of banana grams (it's so fun, I think I'm addicted to that now).
What really touched me that night was how each person in their own unique way contributed well to the fellowship that night. As we exchanged prayer requests, instead of running down a bulleted list, we carefully discussed why our hearts were burdened for such things--and with that, every person offered what was heavy on their heart about it as well. For instance, topics of battling lust, self-esteem in appearance, finding one's calling in life, one's role in edifying the body of Christ as the Church, cultural issues in the Asian vs. Western mindset and how that plays a role in ministry...*sigh* it was all very filling to the soul. :) I love how God works; and I am incredibly blessed and honored to constantly hear about it through the testimonies of His children. That night, though we were all a part of different denominations (Methodist, C&MA, Trinity), we were able to build one another up and encourage one another according to God's command in Ephesians 4:
I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.
I am continually being reminded that we are the future leaders of our generation (1 Timothy 4:12)--and praise God, I see many already picking up that torch and starting on this race that is marked out for us (Hebrews 12:1).
Unity is an essential issue right now for the Hmong, both in Thailand and the U.S...please keep us constantly in your prayers. Thanks...
So…I have heard two separate accounts about how the Hmong used to believe in God and worship Him alone. The first was when Pastor Somboon (Kaub) mentioned it to me in the summer of 2008. He mentioned a meeting of many witch doctors that got together and talked about how, in the past, the Hmong indeed worshipped one deity, the one true God, but have now turned aside from Him and unto idols that were given to us by other cultures. The second account was when one of the deacons at my church, Chaneng (Tsav Neej), mentioned how, before the great fall of the Hmong in the war against the Chinese, they worshipped one God and through Him, were successful in battle. However, just like Samson, they were deceived by the beautiful Chinese women and fell away in their faith. They were given over to the worship of meaningless idols, animism, and ancestral spirits. Coincidence? Or truth?
I had this dream in Thailand--sometime before my return to the United States in late March. It was in a unique sense, prophetic; I am still trying to figure out the real meaning behind it.
I was walking with a new friend and we came across a forest that seemed more like a battlefield. There were dead bodies lying everywhere...demons and humans were in the middle of combat! Everywhere we looked, the demons seemed to be winning as they beat down every human who crossed their path. "What is this?" My new friend asked. "What's going on here?" "It must be the end times," I answered her, being surprised that those words had escaped my lips at that moment. "Jesus is coming, and the demons know that their time is short. Therefore, they are trying to do all they can before He comes back." I looked up and saw a fenced off area where the demons seemed to be carrying people into captivity. Just then, I saw my father and one of the deacons from my home church approach the gate of the prison. "What are you guys doing?!" I yelled at them. "Don't go in there! You're going to get yourselves killed!" My father answered, "We have to go in there. We have no choice!" I was getting ready to say more when I saw my mother in the corner of my eye with a bushel of twigs, their ends puffing up in smoke. I immediately turned my attention to her. "What?! Mom, what are you doing here?" She goes, "Well, I have to go rescue the captives. If we don't set the captives free, how else are they going to get out?" she asked me. I groaned, knowing that what she said was true, yet I knew she would have to risk her life for such a cause. My mother and one of the women from the church rushed in as my father and the deacon from before came charging out carrying someone on a stretcher.
When I arrived at the Greyhound station in Milwaukee, I had some time to just sit and think while waiting for Josh Thao, the youth president of TCC Milwaukee, to come pick me up. I sat down and started going through my goodie bags packed by Dora and Pua (you guys are awesome! Thanks^^). Spotting a bag of gummy bears, I pulled it out and thought to myself, Gosh, I really don’t like gummy bears…God, if it’s pleasing to You, let me bless someone tonight with these. Initially, I had thought that I would just give them to someone at the pastor’s house that I would be staying at, perhaps Josh or one of his brothers. Yet, being inspired by Jaeson Ma’s 365 Days of Love project, I secretly asked God to provide an opportunity to do so right then and there at the bus station.
After praying that prayer, I looked up and saw a little girl. She was a toddler and she was crying for her mother’s attention. I stared at them, then looked back down at my bag of gummy bears. Hmm…do I really want to do this? I thought to myself. Then again, who could turn down such an offer? I mean, it’s only a bag of gummy bears! :) What have I to be afraid of, right? So I walked on over and said, “A friend packed these gummy bears for me but I don’t really like them. You can give them to your daughter…I mean, I saw her crying and…” “THANKS!” was the mother’s reply. “That’s very kind of you!” “Oh, it’s no problem,” I said with a smile. “I just didn’t want to waste them.” I went and sat back down. Within a few minutes, the mother and her friend beside her walked back over and thanked me again...and again. They must have really appreciated it.
Another couple of minutes passed by and a man who sat a couple of seats away from me asked if he could use my phone. He said that his minutes were almost out. Being empowered by the gummy bear incident, I almost yelled, “Sure!!” being confident that I was shining like a bright star for God that night. However, this man, while using my phone, kept staring at it suspiciously. He asked to use it several times, and I allowed him to every time. Yet…I kept a close eye on him. Oh God, please don’t let him steal my phone. Please don’t let him steal my phone! I’m traveling and if I have no way of contacting people, I don’t know what I’d do without it! The man gave it back to me and said that he couldn’t contact his ride. He said that she only lived close by…Feeling sorry for the guy, I said that perhaps, if my ride would let, we could drop him off if she wasn’t too far from the station. I then thought, Oh my goodness, Mydur! What are you doing? You don’t know him! You can’t trust him! I then again secretly prayed a prayer that God would keep me, His child, safe and under His care in all circumstances. It was at this time that Josh arrived. I had asked Josh and he said it was fine to drop this man off. However, the man confessed that he didn’t know where her house was. And to that, the only thing I could say was, “Well, I hope you can reach her. I wish we could help. Good luck!” I smiled. I sincerely meant that but I was also relieved that God had taken that responsibility off my shoulders.
As I walked out, I wasn’t sure if I did the right thing or not. Yet, when I passed through sliding doors, a man who sat close-by looked up at me, looked away, and smiled. He had been watching me the whole time. I don't know why, but I smiled too and left with a good feeling.
Psalm 91:1 "For He will order His angels to protect you in all you do"
